Articles

What is Radical Self-Acceptance?

Self-esteem, confidence, and self-love are not radical self-acceptance. They are important in their own right, but they have more to do with how you feel about yourself than with whether you accept your own words and behavior. Are you okay with making mistakes? Are you okay with owning those mistakes? Do you beat yourself up? Those are part of radical self-acceptance. The mantra for self-acceptance is: “I own and fully accept every word and action I say or do.” It doesn’t matter if you should have known better. It doesn’t matter if hindsight gave you new information. It doesn’t matter how much pain you realize you were in when you did that thing. It doesn’t matter who you hurt. None of it matters. The only thing that matters is that you can accept and take responsibility for what you created—no matter how good, bad, or ugly you think it might be. I’m not going to sugarcoat this. It’s not easy. It sounds simple enough, but it’s far from easy to do. There are a couple of concepts behind radical self-acceptance that we need to understand. First—and probably most importantly—this does not let anybody off the hook for managing their behavior

The Quiet Power of Self-Responsibility

Self-responsibility naturally follows self-mastery. While self-mastery teaches us to manage our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors within any experience—without trying to control, manipulate, or change that experience—it’s about conscious participation with a sense of separation. This separation lets us stay present and aware while not being overwhelmed. Self-responsibility takes that foundation further. It asks us to look at the impact we have on the experience itself. It invites us to honestly examine how we choose to show up, and to decide whether our participation helps or harms the situation. This reflection isn’t about blame or self-punishment. It’s a compassionate inquiry into what pain or unresolved wounds may still be driving our thoughts, feelings, and actions. Both self-mastery and self-responsibility rest on a base of self-acceptance—never cruelty or harsh judgment. It’s about granting ourselves the grace to be imperfect humans willing to own our behavior and, when necessary, make amends. We live in a world where blame reigns supreme. We constantly seek someone or something to hold responsible for our experiences—often misplacing that blame. People and circumstances become scapegoats when we refuse to acknowledge or understand our own role in the story. True self-responsibility means we no longer place blame, even when

Why Blaming Technology Won’t Fix Our Broken Relationships

Relationships, society, and technology have all changed dramatically over the course of my lifetime (I’ll be 50 next week, at the time of writing this). In the wake of these changes, we’ve started looking for something to blame—especially when it comes to what we see in our kids and the next generation. But the truth is more layered than screen time and social media. It’s been oversimplified, and it’s time to dispel a few myths about what’s really going on. In my parents’ generation (they’re in their 80s now), divorce wasn’t considered an option. To this day, my parents are still married—because they’re married. It’s not about happiness. It’s not about wanting to stay in the relationship. It’s not about love. It’s a religious contract they made over 50 years ago and have chosen to uphold, no matter how miserable the marriage has become. There was a time when a woman couldn’t legally exist without a man—at least not in any way that allowed her to thrive. Only men could buy property, hold most jobs, or vote. A woman was completely reliant on finding a man to take care of her because she wasn’t legally allowed to take care of